Most know the name of Drew Peterson, the former Bolingbrook, IL, police sergeant whose last two wives have either disappeared or died under extremely mysterious circumstances. For many, Peterson is the poster boy for narcissism, calling himself the victim in the loss of two women he once promised to love, honor and obey. Most will recall that Peterson's second wife, Vicki Connolly alleged that he consistently abused her during their 10-year marriage. Then there was wife number three, Kathleen Savio, a woman from whom he had recently divorced and the person who stood to get half of his worldly assets, to include their common home and their children, somehow slipped in her own bathtub and died of her injuries, an accident later ruled to be a homicide; killer unknown.

Next came wife number four, Stacy, a young woman dozens of years his junior who was his alibi for the night Savio died. Prior to her October 2007 disappearance, Stacy had indicated that she, like wife number three before her, also wanted a divorce. Peterson suggested that she was intentionally missing, that she had somehow run off with another man, leaving her young children without a mother, this without even packing a bag for herself. Now there appears to be a wife number five on the horizon; and many are asking, "What is she thinking about?"

It's an age-old question: why do women go for "the outlaws" of society, those who live and move so close to the edge that life with them is a daily calculated risk, one many women, it seems, are still prepared to take.

Outlaws, the bad guys of society have always held an interesting attraction to some women. Jesse James, James Dean and even the California Peterson, Scott, who was convicted for the Christmas eve, 2002 murder of his 8-month pregnant wife Laci and their unborn son Conner, receives love letters and offers of marriage while in jail. But so did Ted Bundy, and so did cousins Kenneth Bianchi and Angelo Buono, know collectively in the late 1970's as "the Hill Side Strangler" when they kidnapped, tortured and murdered 10+ women, and so does wacko Charles Manson and other notorious outlaws, some of whom would marry while in prison. O.J. Simpson was never without a girlfriend until he recently went to jail. Drew Peterson, the 54-year-old suspect in the demise of wives three and four, is also known as the man who "humbly" offered himself as first prize in a "win a date with Drew contest" shortly after wife number four disappeared. While most assume that he is still legally married to this last missing 23-year-old spouse, he has, nonetheless, become engaged to potential wife number five, yet another 23-year-old woman, one he has dated for the past four months. Many will recall that marriage has never stopped Peterson from extramarital affairs in the past, noting that he was still married to Kathleen, his third wife when he was dating Stacy, the teenager that would eventually become wife number four.

Age is also no barrier for Peterson, this as he appears to some to look for a younger woman whom he can dominate and who will clean his house, occupy his bed, and care for his two children by Stacy. Peterson complained that the media spoiled his recent relationship with a 22-year-old woman before he moved on to the current "older" woman who has two children of her own by a previous relationship. "Yours, mine and maybe ours..." Anyway, you must assume that Drew and the future Mrs. Peterson have discussed his rather spotted marital history, especially in view of the fact that 50% of his former wives who have wound up either missing or dead, and we can only assume that Drew has convinced her he didn't do it.

Why do women like bad boys?

We see someone like Pamela Anderson dating famous bad boys Tommy Lee and Kid Rock. While some women know in their hearts that dating a bad boy can be self-destructive, they do it anyway. It probably gives some women an emotional high. Athletes, rock stars and other media personalities have written tell-all books than include details about rolls in the hay with literally thousands of women. Others, like recently jailed O.J. Simpson, write books that tongue-in-cheek tell what they did; really what they got away with, meanwhile the really good guys cry out, "Why not me?"

Because some women don't view them as cool, that's why.

While the hardworking, nose-to-the grindstone guy may be the foundation of a stable relationship, he may also, unfortunately bring little excitement to the kitchen table and beyond. Many women see the bad guy as someone with a high degree of self-confidence, someone who is self-assured, an independent man possessed of energy and an aura of power around him. He literally "glows in the dark." This type of guy comes off as an adventurous risk-taker, an on-the-edge person who acts with authority and who demands and gets respect from others. Better yet, he's interesting because he sometimes functions outside the often boring rules of society.

Some women can draw power, energy and even social status from their association with a bad boy who constantly lives on the edge. In this world, you either have your own identity or you share that of another. For some women, their identity is probably associated with dating or being married to a well-known figure. For others, being associated with a locally or nationally-known political figure can be personally rewarding, even if he is many years older or many inches shorter. Some women have learned to live vicariously through their partner, finding the other person's life far more interesting and exciting than their own, denying the negative that appears evident to everyone but her.

And then there are women with low self-esteem and a challenged personal image who may believe that any man is better than no man. This can be hard to swallow, though, in our 21st century world where women can find success and happiness whether or not they're in a relationship. Many women, unlike some of their male counterparts, simply do not need male arm candy.

Risks from co-dependency to abuse

The police were called to the Peterson residence a number of times over the years for complaints of domestic abuse. Many believe that Peterson, as a cop, was given a pass by his fellow officers, like the one he apparently got when the death of his third wife was initially ruled accidental. It was when wife three and four finally had had enough and wanted to take their money and run that they disappeared, one way or another.

My guess is that this new relationship for Peterson and his fiancée, like most others, meets their individual needs. Theirs may be a co-dependency, one where he needs her because he always needs to have a woman— someone to cook for him, bathe his kids, allow him to run around at night and still tell him that he's not a murderer. He may also need someone who looks at him like he's a wonderful provider, in this case perhaps a father figure substitute who exerts absolute rule in the home. While the fifth try may succeed, there will be those who will suggest that the future bride consider a suit of armor instead of a neglige for her wedding night.

The bottom line in most cases is that a woman should probably never enter into a relationship with a bad guy or an outlaw to whom she is attracted— and by that, I mean men who are real law breakers- as such relationships can be both emotionally and physically destructive. A woman should not enter into such a relationship thinking this man will change for her as she cannot "heal him" nor turn him around. Any woman who tries to do that will likely get hurt. Outlaws like to dominate and control their women, treating them like a possession rather than a partner. Some outlaws are just drug store cowboys, passing themselves off as someone other than who they really are (like creating a new persona in an Internet chat room). Others are true sociopaths who will use, manipulate, lie, and take what they want because they believe they are entitled to it. Such men are not in the relationship to meet the woman's needs, and they will walk all over their partner emotionally — and sometimes physically.

Worse yet, a woman can try in vain to make the relationship work, believing "if she only tried harder," she could change him. Remember this: "Bad guys equal bad relationships."

Someone who brings out the best in you

Many women who date "outlaws" eventually realize a solid, but perhaps boring guy can provide true relational stability. A good guy can be a wonderful partner in life and a good role model for future children. The key in any relationship is to find someone who brings out the best in you, someone you can trust and be secure and safe with. Life may not always be wild and crazy, but it will all make sense. At least in the end, when the fun (and the outlaw) have long since left the marriage, you won't be saying to yourself, "Why did I ever get involved with that guy anyway?"